I was anything but an angel today. I yelled at the girls abominably this evening. I was grouchy and tired and my patience snapped. The bed time battle had casualties on both sides. I felt terrible for losing control of myself. Poor Ella put her hands over her ears. Shame on me. Lisey may be crazy. She may climb on my head and accidentally pull my hair. She may tackle Link and make me worry for his safety. But this is no excuse. One should only yell in cases of fire (president Hinkley said that). The kids didn't get to bed till 9:30. Oh how I hate when Nick is gone! It is so hard to juggle the three kids on my own at bedtime. Oh well. I guess tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it (as says Anne Shirley). I'm sorry Heavenly Father. I will try to do better next time.
I was upset bc earlier in the day I had tried to apply for a freelance writing job on line. You had to take a 20 question test about grammar and punctuation. I got a 75% and you needed an 85% to apply for the job. I felt like such an idiot. And I felt very very bummed because I really really wanted to get that job to practice my writing and get some experience so I could put it on my resume for when I went to publish my books. The only good part of that whole experience was when I had a huge frown on my face and I couldn't get it off, leasee looked over at me and gave me the biggest smile and then told me "smile! Smile!" Then she touched her cheeks and told me to smile again. It was difficult at the time, but I did smile just for Lisey. And you know what? It helped- especially seeing Lisey's cute cute smiling face.
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